Yes, It is missing
Self introspection is the key word for success which I heard from many. So i decided to do so without a clue on how to proceed.
I stood in front of a mirror to looking at my face. "I am Rahul. I am a consultant at street consultancy. I am married to Shoma, a homemaker. My daughter is 3 yrs old. I am living with my parents close to relatives in the financial jungle".
I felt it is incomplete. It talks about what I am but not who I am.
Okay let me give a try again. I am a moderate intelligent, educated, well earning, happy but complaining. Typical one who has other side greener attitude. Yes, better now.
Thought hovered around various events and dialogues. " you are a ruthless, selfish bastard" preethy's voice echoed. It missmatched my introspection results.
Hey did i go wrong somewhere. Where....
I picked up the phone dialled my buddy. " Hey Thejus.....its Rahul" told him about the introspective initiative.
"Rahul, when did bhabi gave you these titles..recollect the event."
"Thejus I guess it was when I told her about my plan to buy a new mobile..but I dropped as she shoutted"
"gottcha...did you deny babhi's shopping request"
"yar couple of days back spend 5000 for her churidhar"..I heard a symphothetic blew from other side. “any other rejection.."
"Shoma wanted to gift a mobile to her bro which i said will give later"
"Rahul, at least now do you want to buy my argument”. He always proclaims “ Everyone are selfish and looks only for themselves. But some are so good that it pretends to be for others benefit” I recollected. " That's exactly a cosmic law and is the reason why in flight they instruct to help yourself before taking care of your kids during a casuality."
"could be....hey I am getting a call...will call back later". I cut him.
I was disturbed. I couldn't conclude. So am I selfish? If yes, is it right to be one.
Drained due to heavy thoughts and sleep kissed my eyelids. I made myself comfortable in the bed.
"papa...papa..." opened my eyes to the cute little voice..My angel was standing in front...
"papa...i want to go out to play but mama did not give me permission".
"no worry..go out and play" she ran
Same thoughts came back to me relaxed mind. This time i got it better...
I am a man who believes in equallity, fairness, peace loving, and very emphathetic and a looser...
Did I get it correct...yes, I got it correct…but what did I loose. May not be not did not gain anything either in the rat race.
I understand others problem, I am a good listener to others problems with no one to hear mine. Give away things to avoid a conflict. I try to be fair to others and put others first....Did someone say it is great character…Still I am a looser...so what is missing in my to be a looser....
What is missing which can improve or develop to win the race...
At a lightning strike it came to me…..I guess selfishness is missing...yes it is missing…
I stood in front of a mirror to looking at my face. "I am Rahul. I am a consultant at street consultancy. I am married to Shoma, a homemaker. My daughter is 3 yrs old. I am living with my parents close to relatives in the financial jungle".
I felt it is incomplete. It talks about what I am but not who I am.
Okay let me give a try again. I am a moderate intelligent, educated, well earning, happy but complaining. Typical one who has other side greener attitude. Yes, better now.
Thought hovered around various events and dialogues. " you are a ruthless, selfish bastard" preethy's voice echoed. It missmatched my introspection results.
Hey did i go wrong somewhere. Where....
I picked up the phone dialled my buddy. " Hey Thejus.....its Rahul" told him about the introspective initiative.
"Rahul, when did bhabi gave you these titles..recollect the event."
"Thejus I guess it was when I told her about my plan to buy a new mobile..but I dropped as she shoutted"
"gottcha...did you deny babhi's shopping request"
"yar couple of days back spend 5000 for her churidhar"..I heard a symphothetic blew from other side. “any other rejection.."
"Shoma wanted to gift a mobile to her bro which i said will give later"
"Rahul, at least now do you want to buy my argument”. He always proclaims “ Everyone are selfish and looks only for themselves. But some are so good that it pretends to be for others benefit” I recollected. " That's exactly a cosmic law and is the reason why in flight they instruct to help yourself before taking care of your kids during a casuality."
"could be....hey I am getting a call...will call back later". I cut him.
I was disturbed. I couldn't conclude. So am I selfish? If yes, is it right to be one.
Drained due to heavy thoughts and sleep kissed my eyelids. I made myself comfortable in the bed.
"papa...papa..." opened my eyes to the cute little voice..My angel was standing in front...
"papa...i want to go out to play but mama did not give me permission".
"no worry..go out and play" she ran
Same thoughts came back to me relaxed mind. This time i got it better...
I am a man who believes in equallity, fairness, peace loving, and very emphathetic and a looser...
Did I get it correct...yes, I got it correct…but what did I loose. May not be not did not gain anything either in the rat race.
I understand others problem, I am a good listener to others problems with no one to hear mine. Give away things to avoid a conflict. I try to be fair to others and put others first....Did someone say it is great character…Still I am a looser...so what is missing in my to be a looser....
What is missing which can improve or develop to win the race...
At a lightning strike it came to me…..I guess selfishness is missing...yes it is missing…
I think I already spent more than half an hour looking at this 500 words!!! Is that a reflection of my mind!! Is that some thing which I decided to write, but could n't yet.. Well its good this way as I dont think, I will b able to present this convoluted idea in a more vivid way!!
ReplyDeleteI still remember the day when I roared at my father to shut up when he continuosly asked me to walk away from the edge of an old bridge!! I told him, its me who care about my life more than any body else in the world...So I know what to do..!!
He didn't tell any word after that, but it literally hurt him like spear..
Later he said, I will come to know about it when I will be a father , well I am not yet!!!
But I do miss some thing n I know that it is SELFISHNESS, which made me think at times that I am a looser!!! a Big erratic looser..
That compeel you to do things for others even when your clear logical part of brain says that you are doing absolutely wrong for yourself...
I think I already spent more than half an hour looking at these 500 words!!! Is that a reflection of my mind!! Is that something which I decided to write, but could not yet... Well it’s good this way as I don’t think, I will b able to present this convoluted idea in a better way than you pointed!!
ReplyDeleteI still remember the day when I roared at my father to shut up when he continuously asked me to walk away from the edge of an old bridge!! I told him, it’s me who care about my life more than anybody else in the world...So I know what to do..!!
Why I said it was so simple. Right from the day I started thinking, I was under the assumption that everybody loves himself more than anything else!!
He didn't tell any word after that, but it literally hurt him like a spear...
Later he said, I will come to know about it once I become a father, well I am not yet, but knew it already!!!
I do miss something and I know that it is SELFISHNESS, which made me think at times that I am a looser!!! A Big erratic looser...
Lack of SELFISHNESS compel you to do things for others even when yours clear logical part of brain says that you are doing absolutely wrong for yourself... Still empathetic, soft part of your brain advocates against the logical part by saying “Greatness is when you give away something that could be yours at least for somebody close to you.” Everybody in the world would sing “ULALA OSANA” for you and then at that time, “your majesty” part of brain gives judgment in favor of Soft part of brain!!
End of the day you WILL see people misusing, giving absolutely no importance or most of the times unable to understand how hard or even what you have got them as the so called precious!
Once you are in that stage, the very long part of your life span, you would feel like “You are a looser”. Most funniest irony is that even at that time, the society would consider you as a winner as the only person who knows, understands about your failure is yourself; Hmm, NO, not even the whole you, but only the logical part of your brain!!
This process is in Iteration!!! And the loop is Do {} While (1)! As you don’t have any idea when you first entered in to this scenario.. Purely exit controlled one where at least I absolutely don’t have any control as of now!!
good one
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